What Truly Matters

Christmas was different this year.  Actually, 2011 was a different sort of year all together.  We lost many people in a circle of influence during the past 12 months; a friend’s 10 year old son, a friend’s 27 year old son and then his father just months later, a life-long family friend, my daughter’s friend’s father in his early 30s, my mother in law, and most recently a family friend’s mother on Christmas day.  There are others, too.  We went to at least 8 visitations and funerals this year, and couple others that we couldn’t be at.

This year was different.  It served to remind us how fleeting life can be and how significant relationships are to our own existence.  Many have written that social media has caused us to detach from relationships, thus becoming more isolated and leaving countless people feeling alone despite having hundreds of “friends” and “followers.”  I think there’s some truth – if we allow the social media to replace real people.

Our family chose to simplify this Christmas season.  We helped others with Christmas gifts who otherwise had virtually nothing, and we chose to downsize our own celebration.  Having been very blessed in recent years, it was a deliberate shift back to the focus of family time, face to face time, and being in relationships with each other.

Christmas day found us in church after opening gifts with our children, age 11 and 13.  Gifts were kept meaningful and simple, a shift from digital technology that dominates the world around us.  As we later gathered with my parents, we opened gifts which were again deliberate and scaled down from years past.  We shared a traditional meal, played Bingo and Apples to Apples, and watched Red Skelton.  As we drank tea and munched on Christmas cookies, I reflected that we are so blessed.  We drank tea from 40 year old Centennial Rose china and ate our meals with gold plated cutlery, while others in the world think about their next meal, and live just one day at a time.

It’s okay to be blessed.  It’s a blessing to be so blessed, but let us not lose sight of the things that truly matter in our lives – the people, the relationships, and the memories that we make.  As the Christmas season quickly closes and we move on to the next mass marketing campaign of Valentine’s Day, I hope that we will spend the coming year focusing on this simplicity that matters.  Take the time to connect to real people, face to face, and care about them – don’t just poke, like or tweet.  Help out a neighbor, open the door for a stranger, buy someone’s lunch, lend a shoulder for a tearful friend or stranger.  We are all in this together.  When we take the time to slow things down, we learn that each of us has something to share with each other.  Let’s again become a community.

Everyone has a story.  Take the time to listen to someone’s.  They have a story to tell.  They may have a story that needs to be told, one that you need to hear.

Back to Christmas

I have been encouraged this holiday season.  An increasing number of people, including co-workers, store employees and people on the streets are reverting to saying “Merry Christmas.”  Not one retailer has wished me anything other than “Merry Christmas” and I think that simple gesture helps to bring in the spirit of season.

After a number of years of political correctness being shoved down the throats of Canadians, Common Sense seems to be making it’s long awaited return.  In all likelihood, Common Sense is just visiting for the holidays and we will soon resume taking a stand for nothing…other than a stand against offending someone.  But the holiday is called Christmas, no matter what you believe.  December 25 is Christmas Day, just as July 1^st is Canada Day if you’re not Canadian, and February 14^th is Valentine’s Day even if you’re not in love.

If you happen to be one of those who is wrapped up in celebrating a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday, do you enjoy living?  Don’t change Christmas for the rest of us.  Actually, if you aren’t celebrating Christmas, what exactly are you doing on December 25^th?

Everyone has a story.  Let those who celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ have Christmas.  That’s the story that gives you Christmas anyways.

Welfare Mentality

“I have to start school in January or they’ll kick me off welfare.”  It was intended to draw sympathy to the person’s plight, but it stirred me.  It actually disturbed me.  Truth be told, it’s disgusted me.

Call me prejudice or oppressive, but take a moment to hear me out. 

The latest statistics that I could find show there are 201,600 welfare cases in Ontario, with 382,000 total recipients.

Welfare was created to help people through difficult times.  That’s noble. 

Welfare was not created to develop a lifestyle.  That’s enabling. 

Approximately $1200 per month is paid to a parent with one child (plus the child tax benefit which I understand is at least $200 to a non-working parent, tax credits, GST returns and other government incentives).   A run down on the province’s website that summarizes the benefits for those receiving social assistance can be found here, including dental and vision care as well as prescription coverage.

There are many individuals and families who maintain employment, yet do not receive the same benefits.

My struggle with the claim of attending school to maintain welfare is this: there is no internal drive to become a “better person.”  There fails to be an intrinsic value on bettering one’s self.  No drive to gain employment.  No drive to create a self sustaining life or contribute to the community.

Instead, a mindset has been developed that makes welfare a career of choice.

How has our system of social supports created a segment of our communities that are content to only receive without giving?  Even more disconcerting, to limit one’s potential?  If we allow our neighbours and fellow community members to limit themselves, aren’t we allowing ourselves to be hurt too?  We are in this together. 

I am not disgusted with the person who made the statement.  I am disgusted that we have allowed this to become a viable option.

Everyone has a story.  I hope that I can be a part of showing people that they have so much more potential in their life and I hope that you will join me to encourage people in your circle of influence.  To do otherwise is to allow mediocrity to become the standard, and leave a life’s story unwritten, unread, and untold.