Memories

When someone dies, we mourn.  We mourn the loss of their life, but we feel the loss in our life.  It’s like a small part of us ceases to exist except in the recesses of our mind.  

It is said that scent is the strongest trigger for memories, and I suspect it’s true.  There are a few smells that bring me back to childhood, like the smell of the dump.  We used to live near the dump in Dorchester. My friend, Russell, and I would treasure hunt there all the time, before it was considered trespassing.  The smell of the swamps where we used to capture salamanders, frogs, and turtles.  The smell of cedar reminds me of an old trunk that my grandma had in her house.  The fresh aroma of harvest takes me back to growing up in the country and riding in the combine with the landlord.  Certain smells, specific memories.

Sounds also cause memories to creep back into history.  There are songs from the 80’s and 90’s that take me back to school dances and the days when my wife and I began dating.  Our wedding song takes me to a specific date with beautiful memories.  Sadly, these songs are now considered classics...and I didn’t even know I had aged that much.

But there are clear memories that have no mystic trigger, they are just memories.  When someone dies, the memories come back, for some it’s like a flood.  Some may feel they are drowning in the flood of memories.

What do you do with the memories?  If you happened to have grown up with someone who went on to fame, you have a direct connection to the sorrow that everyone is supposed to feel.  If you don’t feel the same sorrow, does it make you a lesser person?  Maybe a bit heartless?

In 2011 we have seen the loss of NDP Leader Jack Layton, Shawn Tompkins (MMA trainer at Tapout in Las Vegas), Amy Winehouse (Singer), Kelly Thomas (homeless man), Betty Ford (Former American First Lady), Saif al-Arab al-Gaddafi (son of leader Muammar Gaddafi), Serge LeClerc (Canadian pardoned criminal and politician), and Shrek (New Zealand celebrity sheep), as well as hundreds more.

Your level of mourning depends on your relationship and experiences with each of these people, even Shrek.  We live in relationships so we are inevitably impacted by loss and suffering, but context is required.  I was active in the local NDP and union issues at one point so I felt a degree of loss for Jack.  I went to school with Shawn Tompkins so it was closer to home and he was my age.  I didn’t care for Amy Winehouse’s music or the image she represented, but her family is left to carry on without her.  Kelly Thomas, well, that’s a sad story.  Saif al-Arab al-Gaddafi was a celebrated death by many in the journey to Libyan freedom. And so it goes.

Although we may not appreciate someone, may not agree with their political stripe or their past actions, we put aside the negative and understand that there are those who were close to the deceased who will have to move forward without them.  Yes, even Shrek.

Our memories will remain with us.  Does sharing the negativity of the past help in the healing?  I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think the celebration of someone’s loss and suffering is intended to be a positive experience.

Everyone has a story.  How will yours be remembered?

Destination: Unknown

My father-in-law and I had planned a motorcycle ride along the north shore of Lake Erie.  We were to begin in Port Stanley and work our way over the next few hours to Niagara Falls.  We booked a hotel on the American side where we would spend a night and would come back to Embro after a second day of riding.

As plans often do, they changed.  He called me just a couple days before and explained that his wife had been in a car accident and felt he should stay home with her.  Good call.

Since I was on vacation for the week, my wife was working and my kids are enjoying doing almost nothing on summer vacation, I figured I would still take a day trip.  The hotel in New York state was cancelled and I was just going to enjoy a day without a destination.  All I knew was that I would head east.

I mentioned this to a friend, Terry, who has over 200,000 km on his 1999 Harley Davidson Ultra.  He too was off for a day so we agreed that he, his wife Cathy, and I would take a day trip.

We started off shortly after 9:00 a.m.  I had no plans, just that I wanted to stay as close to the lake shore as I could.  I have ridden the roads in the area for many years, so I wanted a new experience.

East of Port Burwell, a portion of the Lakeshore Road is closed.  Years back it was determined unsafe for traffic due to the erosion, so there is a detour before coming back onto the main road.

We stopped in a the ever popular destination for bikers, Port Dover.  This is the location of the Friday the 13th rally.  I have only been here twice when it wasn’t the rally.  It’s a town of about 5000 residents that embrace the beach culture.

We continued east on our ride.  It’s easy to end up back on the main roads, it’s as though the rural stretches squeeze vehicles off of the back country and out to the highways.

Somewhere east of Nanticoke we ended up on a long stretch of road with a maximum speed of 50 km/hr.  The road hugged the lake and weaved it’s wave between cottages and summer retreats.  If you find yourself on this section of Lakeshore Road between Highway 53 to the west and Highway 49 to the east, slow down; there’s much to enjoy.  Families sharing in memories, sailboats in silence, geese with their babies, and minimal traffic.  Just don’t expect to get anywhere quickly.

We eventually made it to Niagara Falls, riding along the Niagara Parkway past million dollar homes, now up for sale.  The excess is ridiculous.  I don’t understand how anyone needs that much.  Maybe it’s me.

When I was preparing to leave on the one day trip, I mentioned to my wife that I might chronicle the day and write up some sort of nice travel blog for bikers.  As often is the case with my writing, nothing goes as planned and the story actually began at the Number 11 Bridge in Allanburg.  

The Niagara region is packed with rivers, the shipping lanes for cargo vessels and the thoroughfares for sailboats and motorboats.  We rode into Allanburg shortly after 5:00 p.m. and soon found ourselves parked for at least 20 minutes as the bridge was raised for a cargo ship passing through.  Terry and Cathy rode up to the bridge to watch the spectacle while I stayed back to hold our spot.

While I stood around, a man who was parked behind me came up and mentioned that my rear tire looked flat.  Indeed it was.  I had just spent $282 on a new tire only 6 days previous.  I was choked.  I pulled off to the side and strolled up to Terry to let him know the situation.  

At the Bridge 11 is a family run restaurant called Indian Flame.  The owners, Rika and Asha Bhagria offered up some suggestions and offered me the use of their phone book to track down some options.  The problem I quickly found was the timing of the incident.  It was after 5:00 p.m. so most everything was closed.

Back at my bike, I noticed a guy riding his Harley Davidson just across the road waiting to turn.  I waved him over and his came over to offer assistance.  Jeff rides a beautiful bike.  I think it’s a street glide with a light bar.  He has it chromed out fully with mag rims and a perfect custom paint job.  Spotless.  He called around on his cell and found no luck.  Getting a CAA membership would cost me $189, include 200 km of free towing, with additional mileage at $3 per km.  Steep!  I was more than 200 km from home so this would cost me.  This was without a repair still!  Jeff is a constable with the Niagara Police and he went above what he needed to do, making call after call to get the job done.  Still, though, no luck.  I gave Jeff my card and a testimonial DVD from Barry Mayson.  Thank you Jeff for stopping to help out.

Terry returned shortly afterward.  He rode up to a garage and they offered him a compressor to see if we could get enough air in to ride down to the shop and leave it overnight.  No luck.  Air leaked out as quickly as it went in.  We eventually found the source of the leak too - roofing nail.

Cathy suggested we rent a truck and load up my bike to go home.  I called U-Haul.  After much confusion, nothing.  They had only one one-way truck available.  It was about 20 minutes away from where I was at and the shop staff wouldn’t stay open to wait for me.  It was now 6:45 p.m.

Rika had come outside to check on us in the mean time.  He and his family had only been in the area for about 16 months, but spend most of their time at the restaurant.  He was apologetic that he couldn’t have been of greater assistance.

I decided to spend the night in Niagara Falls and get my bike towed to a shop in the morning.  I asked Rika if he had a spot to store my bike for the night.  He readily allowed me to park on the restaurant patio and chain it to a post.  This was the first thing that went well.

Terry, Cathy, and I had dinner at the restaurant.  Rika said that he knew the owner of the Howard Johnson motel up the road.  He called and got me a cheap rate - Niagara Falls in the summer is not a cheap place to stay.  It cost me $52.20 for the night.  Our discounted hotel in New York at $113.00, but I am sure it was nice place.

When dinner was finished, Terry and Cathy headed for home.  They didn’t need to stay as long as they did, but that’s what friends do.  Stay to the end.  “Heaven’s Saints Don’t Quit.”

Rika drove me up to the motel and made sure that I was all set before he left.  He didn’t need to do that either, but he did.

Originally, there were no standard rooms, only a suite that I was able to get for $80 (regularly over $120), but there was a standard room available.  The staff explained that it is a dark room, window faces a concrete wall, might smell like smoke since the last person failed to comply with the rules and wasn’t in an ideal spot.  If I wanted it, it would only be $40.  I figured I’d stay there since I would be forking out more money in the morning.

Aside from the poorly painted door and the blood stain on the bed, the room was fine.  What could I expect for such a cheap space right?  The motel staff gave me a toothbrush and deodorant for the next day, but they were out of toothpaste.  

I walked around to a couple stores looking for a good motorcycle magazine to read that evening, but found nothing worthwhile.  I bought my toothpaste and some snack food and went back to room 117.

In the morning, I mentioned the blood stained bedding to staff and called myself a cab.  $27 plus a tip to get me from the hotel to the restaurant, a trip of just 7 km.  Should have called Rika!

When I arrived at the Indian Flame, Asha served me up a coffee.  They only charge $1 for a cup of coffee, and it’s good coffee too.

Rika is from India.  He moved to Canada with his family when he was 13.  Now, 47 years old and married with four children, he explained to me that this restaurant is his dream.  They bought place 16 months ago and sunk a lot of money into restoring it to as a restaurant.  Everyone helps out at the restaurant, except their youngest child who is in public school.  Each member of the family that I met was very polite and friendly and helpful.  Rika’s son made sure that he unlocked my bike before he left that morning for his driver’s test.  True to his word.

Rika and Asha practice Hinduism.  I am a Christian.  We have different beliefs, and I am sure we don’t fully understand each others’, but we talked over coffee about our beliefs and values.  He spoke strongly about the Hindu value of non-violence, unless there is no other option.  He shared that over the past 50 years, India has never initiated violence against another country.  He seemed proud of that.

I learned a bit more about their gods, Lord Brahma (The creator of the universe), Vishnu (The preserver of the universe), Shiva (The god of destruction).  Different than the trinity that I place my faith in, Father, Son, Holy Spirit.  I asked whether Jesus Christ fits into their beliefs anywhere and Rika advised that they believe in all beings.

I seem to get stretched during these encounters.  Not regarding tolerance, but rather understanding.  Again, through our differences, we co-exist and share in conversation and can talk respectfully about beliefs and values.  I offered Rika a testimonial DVD as well, which he readily accepted.  Thank you Rika and Asha for looking after me.  You went above and beyond!

I had earlier called Clare’s Cycle to ask about a repair on my tire.  I only needed a tube replaced since the tire was fine, except for the small hole.  Corey came to pick me up with a trailer.  Still cost me $30, but cheaper than calling a a towing company to get me.

Corey seemed to be a young guy, but he’s been at Clare’s for 16 years and knows his stuff.  He is proud of working for a Honda, Suzuki, and Yamaha dealer.  I trusted him right away, and I am often skeptical of mechanics.  I had mentioned to him that there problems with the lights since I bought the bike in 2007.  He offered to take a look.

After 45 minutes, Corey had my bike back together, tire on, tube replaced, axle greased (the shop that put the new tire on last week did not do this), rewired my lights, soldered the connections, and had me on my way.  They guys in the shop were great.  Respectful and professional.  Including the trailering to the shop, my bill was $134.90 - Checking out my electrical was complimentary, except for the $2.99 light bulb.  Thanks Corey!

I made it home later in the afternoon and reflected - my plans aren’t always the plans that are laid out before me.  I tried to get a truck, I tried to get a shop.  No luck.  What was before me though, were people who were gracious in caring for me - Rika and Asha at the Indian Flame, Constable Jeff - off duty Niagara Police officer, Corey and the others in the shop at Clare’s.

Had I gotten my way, I wouldn’t have met these people and shared in their lives, to hear some of their stories.  Everyone has a story.

30 Days of Blessing - A Summary

Well that's a wrap.  I am a day late getting this posted, but I was out on July 1st, spending the day on a ride in support of the Bravery Beads program that the Optimist Club of East Williams operate.  The run covers 240 km throughout three counties.  At the conclusion of the ride, a barbecued rib dinner with beans and salads was enjoyed by all.  

Once we were home, it was time to load up the van and head to Canada festivities and take in the fireworks put on by the Kinsmen.  Through all the joy of children and glow of fireworks, I was once again reminded of the blessing of family.

June was the month that I reflected daily on the small blessings in my life, and a few more seemingly significant ones as well.  Maybe it's that I noticed it more, but the month of June seemed to be filled with sorrow and pain, as well as blessing and thanksgiving.

Have you ever been faced with the experience that so much bad news has come your way, you almost want to start laughing because there's not much more you can do?  

Let me summarize what has happened in the past 30 days:

My wife's aunt Laura who had been battling cancer was given just two weeks to live.  My wife made the trip up to Angus to see her, and a week later, Laura passed away.  We then traveled back up to Angus for the funeral and were going to stay overnight to attend the new charter celebration for the Wasaga Beach chapter of the Heaven's Saints M.M., but their Vice President took a bad fall and the party was cancelled.

Family friend, Pat, who has lived one of the cleanest lives I knew and had been diagnoses with cancer, faced treatments and was though to be clean, was found to have cancer throughout her lungs and now into her liver as well.

My grandma's husband who has fought and survived cancer three times, was found to have a spot on one of his lungs.

My wife's friend, Anne, called her and advised that she was suspected of having ALS and wanted to see my wife. Within a few days, it was confirmed, ALS was the diagnosis and she was given just three to four months to live.

Our friend Nancy took a fall at a baseball game and was taken to hospital with a concussion.

Our friends, Dave and Dori, received news that their 27-year-old son, Greg, had passed away.  He had health problems as a child and wasn't expected to make it into his teen years.  Nonetheless, it was a surprise.  His funeral was on last Tuesday.

One of my co-workers took a leave of absence from work to undergo cancer treatment while a second co-worker also faces the prospect of cancer treatment, although the course of action is still unknown.

Add to these major events, I came down sick and fought it for over two weeks, lost time at work due to training seminars (including the trauma training that made me re-evaluate my career path), and a workload unlike anything I have experienced in recent years.

There is a song by Mercy Me called Bring the Rain, and it captures how many people around me have felt this month.  If have the time, take a listen and reflect.

As I look back, June's daily record of blessings may have been the ideal time, and the ideal coping strategy, to get through a month that was plagues with problems.  The problems surrounded our family.  If I hadn't paid attention on a daily basis, I wonder if I could have maintained perspective.  I'll never know.

Here's a list of the blessings from June, despite the trials listed above:

1. Acceptance

2. Freedom to choose my ride (car, van, motorcycle)

3. Trees

4. Quiet time

5. Smiles

6. Safe and loving family

7. Encouragement

8. Not to have a drug addiction, to have a clinic that helps those who do.  That I contribute to the lives of children and families.  For a cup of tea in the quiet times.  That I am bigger than mosquitoes.

9. Monotony

10 and 11. Quality customer service, a son with patience.

12. Music

13. Not being a sports fan

14. Appreciate small events in an ordinary day

15. The love of others

16. Refreshing hope that 'good' is out there

17. My employer

18. Bug repellant 

19. Quiet, honest conversation with family

20. Teachers who are patient and compassionate

21. Health, and the medication that helps through challenges

22. To be a friend

23. Local public library

24. Memories of a positive childhood 

25. Relationships

26. To ride with a group who can enjoy the ride as a pack

27. Safety

28. Naps

29. Coffee, a humourous joke, a visit with a friend

30. Ordinary days

With that, I reflect and see very few earth shattering moments, but I don't think that's what it is all about.  Being able to find the small blessings in a typical day that helps us to manage during the difficult times when life surrounds us with a sense of hopelessness.

Thank you to those who joined me on the month long journey.  It was the most popular post on my blog over the past month.

Keep looking for the small blessings in your life.  Everyone has a story, without the blessings, no story is complete.

Anti-Bullying Task Force - UPDATE!

It's been just over a year since grade eight student Bryten Brown took his own life.  Bryten was a student at Lockes Public School and was subject to ongoing bullying.  When his death was announced in the media, I wrote Hypocrites, highlighting the bandwagon that many in the community were riding.  


In the days that followed, the Thames Valley District School Board Superintendent announced the creation of a task force made up of community members.  One Step Forward spoke to my hesitation on the creation of this task force.  It was originally touted as a community task force, but was soon shown to be made up of the heads of existing organizations.  I was not in support of this.  Maybe I am naive in this regards, but the people who are going to know about the effects of bullying are the moms and dads who have to face their hurt and pain that their child faces when he or she returns from school.  It's the children who are hurt and ridiculed for no other reason than to be hurt. They know what's happening out there.  They are on the front lines.  What was supposed to be a Grassroots movement, soon took on the look of bureaucracy. 


This is the list of Community Members on the Task Force:




Dr. Linda Baker - Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System
Dr. Karen Bax - Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System
James Daniels - Thames Valley District School Board, Student Trustee
Inspector Jeff Driedger - St. Thomas Police Service
Chief Brad Duncan - London Police Service
Dr. Barrie Evans - Thames Valley District School Board, Psychological Services
Jane Fitzgerald – Children’s Aid Society of London and Middlesex
Chief Rod Freeman - Woodstock Police Service
Ray Hughes – CAMH Centre for Prevention Science
Dr. Peter Jaffe - Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children, UWO
Janice Jeffrey - Thames Valley District School Board, Safe Schools
Cal Johnstone - /A\
Lynne Livingston - City of London
Chief Bill Lynch - St. Thomas Police Service
Corina Morrison - London Anti-Bullying Coalition
Beth Murray - Thames Valley District School Board, Student Trustee
Superintendent John Perry - London Police Service
Dr. Graham Pollett - Middlesex London Health Unit
Rod Potgieter - Family and Children’s Services of St. Thomas and Elgin
Marc Roberts - Oxford-Elgin Child and Youth Centre
Deputy Chief Brent Shea - London Police Service
Jason Smith - Fusion Youth Centre, Town of Ingersoll
Terri Snell - St. Thomas/Elgin Anti-Bullying Coalition
Barb Sonier - Thames Valley District School Board, Superintendent of Education
Director Bill Tucker - Thames Valley District School Board
Barry Wagner - Facilitator
Carolyn Walker - Thames Valley Parent Involvement Committee
Toni Wilson - Thames Valley District School Board, Safe Schools
Kate Young - Thames Valley District School Board, Public Affairs     




In the year that has passed, I would venture that little has changed for the better, with one notable exception.   The principal at Lockes, Dave Westaway, has made strides in his approach to the issue of bullying.  I give him credit for that.


The community has quieted down for now, waiting for the next event in media drama to unfold in the community so they can rise up and yell, for a few minutes anyways.  Very few people have maintained an active role.  I know of at least one person who was raring to go in the early days, only to be outed as a bully himself.  Bullies often rise to power...but that's another blog for another day.


Today, I received a copy of the task force's "Report to the Community".  It opens with these words, "Bullying behaviour and its negative impact on society continues to be of major importance to the Thames Valley District School Board.  On May 19, 2010, following the tragic death of a St. Thomas teen, the Director of Education for the Thames Valley District School Board established a community Task Force to help him in his quest to end bullying" (italics mine).


The Director of Education is Bill Tucker.  He is one of the past Principals at Lockes Public School.


While not a true community driven committee, I do give them credit for this statement, "Representing both current and new partners for the school board, all 29 invited members committed to work together on this special task force.  As a leader within their organization, each representative brought to the table the commitment of their organization to find ways to work together to bring an end to bullying in our community.  As a Task Force, it truly was many voices coming together to work towards one vision to eliminate bullying."  I hope so.


Short of providing the full report here, I will include the summaries of the responsibilities of each organization involved as per the report:


/A\ London will work with TVDSB to develop a public awareness campaign based on an Anti-Bullying Pledge.  (Note:  The Task Force was very supportive of the idea of a student pledge put forward by /A\ and suggested the entire community should be encouraged to take “The Pledge”).  (See Appendix page 8)


CAMH Centre for Prevention Science has developed a cyber-bullying presentation for Junior-Intermediate students with a follow-up workshop, and a cyber-bullying presentation for parents, designed to promote development of critical thinking skills concerning online safety, privacy and impersonation issues.  (See Appendix page 8) 


Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System’s anti-bullying initiatives in juvenile justice settings and therapeutic group homes will address peer aggression, adolescent suicide, assessments for youth, anti-bullying training for staff, ongoing consultation, and A School Based Anti-Violence Program (ASAP).  (See Appendix page 9)


Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children, UWO is planning a forum on media violence for parents and educators on Oct 20-21 which will deal with critical issues in the development and promotion of violent attitudes and behaviours. (See Appendix page 10) 


Family and Children’s Services of St. Thomas and Elgin, the Children’s Aid Society of Oxford County, and the Children’s Aid Society of London and Middlesex have collaborated to develop a position paper outlining their role/involvement in the prevention of and intervention with bullying.  This report is based on their mandate and legislative functions.  (See Appendix page 10) 


Fusion Youth Centre, Town of Ingersoll and thirty agencies have come together to address issues in schools, the community and organizations and are developing a policy.  (See Appendix page 11) 


London Anti-Bullying Coalition will continue to provide service to its community members, such as:  school board/schools, media, community groups, parents, police and students. (See Appendix page 11) 


London Police Service, in partnership with the Thames Valley District School Board, is dedicated to the promotion of safe schools through its collective efforts to eliminate bullying.  These include School Resource and Safety Officers, specific curriculum and a focused approach to bullying situations.  (See Appendix page 12)


Middlesex-London Health Unit has identified both whole school and classroom activities, including supports for individuals, to support schools with their work in promoting positive behaviour and addressing bullying.  (See Appendix page 13)


Oxford-Elgin Child and Youth Centre has worked with the community to develop a group to work with children and parents of victims of bullying.  A curriculum has been developed by the community partners and is being implemented in September 2011. (See Appendix page 15) 


St. Thomas/Elgin Anti-Bullying Coalition will be presenting an eight week session (starting in September 2011) called "Kids Bounce Back” for children 7 – 10 years old who have been bullied.  They have developed two pamphlets: “What Can You Do To HELP?” and “Is Your Child Bullying Others? “ (See Appendix page 15) 


St. Thomas Police Service’s Community Resource Officer and Adopt a School Officers continue to attend senior elementary and high schools on a daily basis, where among many others, programs and resolutions directed at anti-bullying are administered by the Community Resource Officer as well as the Community Services Officer. (See Appendix page 15) 


Thames Valley District School Board will be developing workshops on cyber-bullying and creating educational videos on bullying for students, parents and teachers as well as creating book kits on bullying for its elementary and secondary schools.  A focus for 2011 – 2012 will be on the mobilization of “upstanders”. (See Appendix page 16) 


Thames Valley Parent Involvement Committee (TVPIC) has organized a joint forum on media violence to create the links, supports, and understanding needed to build stronger, vibrant, inclusive communities for all members – and youth in particular. (See Appendix page 16) 


Woodstock Police Service has established programs in the community and is working to accredit the City of Woodstock as a “Safe Community.”  They are working towards establishing a second secondary school resource officer.  (See Appendix page 17) 


I have been skeptical of this Task Force since the beginning.  I feel that key people have been left out of the process, mainly concerned parents who are truly interested in sustaining change.  As the Task Force now dissolves into history, there is a new group developed from those origins that pledges to meet twice a year to ensue that the anti-bullying initiatives will be carried out as intended.  I will watch to see what unfolds.


There also remains an aspect yet untouched, at least to my knowledge, and that is the bullying in the classroom. Bullying in which the adult, the teacher, bullies and targets the children.  Children are excluded, centered out and mocked in the "safety" of the classroom.  This has been brought to me repeatedly, from various people within the community and via email.


I read today that Aylmer teen Arden McAnulty was advised that she was not welcome to attend the Grade 8 graduation at Davenport Public School, one of the schools within the Thames Valley Board.  Arden left the school in grade seven to attend a school in Peterborough in order for her to get specialized treatment for dyscalculia. 


Nick Lypaczewski from the St. Thomas Times-Journal wrote, "When McAnulty left for Peterborough, her biggest concern was that she would still be able to attend Davenport's graduation dance."  She was originally approved to attend the party by school officials.  Arden also had signed letter from the school board, but later learned the committee in charge of the dance had voted to turn her away.


According to Mike Sereda, Thames Valley District School Board supervisory officer's association chairman, the parent committee expressed their disapproval of McAnulty walking across the stage but, in the end, he says the school thought she should be recognized. (italics mine - notice it wasn't Mr. Sereda that supported the decision to allow her). 


Committee member Maureen Jenkins told QMI Agency, "She has not been a part of the Grade 8 class, and our position is that you had to be a member of the Grade 8 class to attend."   Arden was not able to access the needed programs at her own school.  She attended Davenport longer than many of the graduating students.  There was Arden, centered out, excluded, by the school board that aims to stop bullying.


Everyone has a story.  This one's not done yet.

Mrs. Mattock and the Snowbirds

I was given the chance to do some photos with the Canadian Forces Snowbirds today for the local weekly newspaper.  It was a pretty straightforward assignment; pilots and crew were spending some time at the local hospital visiting with long term patients.  For me, the story began before their arrival though, when I was introduced to Linda Allen.

Linda explained to me that her 89 year old mother was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Turning 90 in October, Linda wondered if there was something special she could do for her mom.

When the Snowbirds arrived, they spent about one hour with 20-30 patients of the Complex Continuing Care wing of the hospital.  These pilots and crew were remarkably down to earth.  They clearly enjoy this part of the job and take time to speak with each person answering a multitude of questions.  Capt. Padruig Macintosh explained to me that when they are seeking new members of the elite flying team, they look beyond their flight skills and actively search members with an engaging personality who truly enjoy the art and joy of speaking to people in different settings.

As Capt. Marco “Polo” Rusconi spoke to the patients about the simple nature of the jets, comparing it to driving a car, he explained that they don’t have auto-pilot nor is there radar.  He said the benefit of flight, though, is that there is no traffic in their way which allows them to focus on their flight partners.  One very interested patient in her 90’s asked a series of questions about fear, training and length of service.  Capt. Rusconi explained that their training is like Lego: The picture on the box is nice, but you have to put the parts together.  They spent hours upon hours learning each piece of the show before putting it together for the final product; one that is worth watching.

With 100 flights each year, the Snowbirds train to face situations of all kinds so that if a problem comes up, they are prepared.  They learn not to fear, because they are prepared.  Many patients weren’t convinced, and one said it’s okay to be afraid.  I wonder what she is facing in her life.

I talked with Capt. Rusconi, he spoke with passion about Canada.  Flying coast to coast, he sees it from a birds eye view.  Hailing from Victoria, British Columbia and now stationed in Moose Jaw, he expressed his love for the beauty of Ontario.  He spoke of the lakes and the sheer green of the forests we have here.  Canada is indeed beautiful.  I have driven it coast to coast a couple times.  If you haven’t traveled this country, you need to, there’s nothing like it.

As we had waited for the Snowbirds to arrive, Linda shared that her mom, Helen Mattock, was a War Bride.  She moved from London, England, to Woodrow, Saskatchewan.  Moving from England to Woodrow was such a shock to her, Helen often wondered if she had made the right decision.

On May 23, 1947 and now living in Moose Jaw, Helen gave birth to Linda and often recalls the story that Snowbirds flew past the hospital that day.  Even today, at age 89, she beams proudly and says, “There is nothing more Canadian than the Snowbirds.”

There was something that Linda could do for her mom.  Helen was a patient at St. Thomas Elgin General Hospital, where we were to meet the Snowbirds in just moments.  Cathy Fox, Communications and Public Relations Specialist at the hospital, who has known Linda for some time, made arrangements for the Snowbirds to pay a special visit to Helen.  This would be a moment in time that wouldn’t be forgotten.

As the Snowbirds finished up with the group of patients from Complex Care, we walked through the halls of the hospital, past curious onlookers.  Up the elevator three floors, I explained to the Snowbirds what the background story was of Helen Mattock.

When Cathy and I arrived in the room, Helen was sleeping, but was woken by Linda who was very excited that the Snowbirds would take the time from their day to visit with her mom.  Once awake and told that there was a surprise waiting for her, the legendary Snowbirds entered the small hospital room to make the day of Helen and her family.

As the pilots and crew surrounded her bedside, she shared the story with them of the memorable day in 1947, when she figured something special must have been happening.  One of the pilots interjected, saying, “There was something special happening that day, you had a baby!”  This baby, 64 years later, brought the Snowbirds back to her.  These men are genuine in their care for people and it showed on their faces as Helen embraced this experience.

Capt. Marco Rusconi spoke of training as Lego, but it can be used in our lives as well.  We will finish our life with a full picture, a completed plan, but the parts need to be worked on first.  Each moment in time, each event we experience, is but one piece of the finished product.  Today, along with Canadian Forces Snowbirds, I was blessed with sharing in a moment in time for this family.

The simple act of taking 10 minutes to make someone’s day could be the most memorable time of that person’s life.  Remember, everyone has a story.  Is yours going to be a complete story of events shared with others?  Are you making memories along the way?  Are you touching the lives of people you don’t even know?   I encourage you to make a difference.  Tell your story.  Write your story.  Live your story.  Everyone has a story.


UPDATE: I received the following email from Linda on Wednesday, July 14, 2011...

Dear Todd, I am giving you the news that my Mother passed away yesterday the l3th quietly and peacefully and knowing full well the snowbirds paved her a way in the clouds as she requested ha ha. Thankyou again and may we be in touch.

May Helen rest in peace, and may her family be comforted. Todd

Rear Row from Left: Capt. Padruig Macintosh, Pte. Craig Rautenstrauch, Me,  Cpl. Winston Rose, Capt. Brett Parker
Front Row from Left:Capt. Marco Rusconi, Capt. Denis Bandet